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I’d like to teach the world to sing…

***This is a draft that I saved from last year. Not sure why I never finished it nor published it.


Okay so, not really.  On most days I do well to not get my ass kicked by some huge Jamaican woman. Don’t laugh. Until you have stood shopping cart to shopping cart with one, don’t you dare laugh.

A few days ago an announcement was made throughout the US Navy that has to be the most nerve-wrecking, fingernail biting, cursing every high ranking asshat that holds that one email. Yes people… We entered, duh duh duhhhnnnn…

The Season. Chief Season. Induction.

Normal people refer to it as “jovial menacing” or “driving to the point of hilarious insanity”, “good natured ribbing by BFFs”, aka., Hazing. (btw, I am required to say that in no way were any sailors hazed by any other sailors that may or may not have been hazed in previous seasons. At least to my knowledge.) But, I digress…


I have been subjected to post after post after post about what gifts to give or tips to give to the newest CPO(Sel) spouses. Let me take a minute and tell you what ‘gift of advice’ that I would bestow upon you. Only four little words to remember;

Don’t. Be. A. Cunt.

Yup. It’s that simple. You are not your spouse’s promotion. His/her promotion is not yours. You don’t have to stop associating with friends that may rank below your husband now and you don’t have to change carpools because you are the wife of a man that wears khakis.



About melodyswatson

Thanks for giving this blog a chance. Well, it would have been cool if you would have tried it when I started it like, FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO! But, water under the bridge and lets go from here… ;) I am a soon to be, 40 year old mother of three boys, proud wife to one sexy ass Navy Chief, fur-mom to two dogs, five cats, two rats and a black corn snake. I thrive on chaos and therefore I also bottle feed and foster underage kittens for my girlfriend's rescue. I am THE Crazy Cat Lady. I live in Southern California (yes, you can be jealous now) and own my home so… I won't ever be leaving! I am not close to my family mainly because… well, I don't really relate to them. But, I love the fuck out of my friends and will do anything for them. I hope that you will follow this blog. Mainly because it would nice to hear your own experiences or times you relate to something you read on here. But, also be aware that I am NOT an everyday, on schedule blogger. I blog when I have something to share. Always remember that forced words on paper are just as fake as that 'comeback' you have towards someone ten minutes too late. Let it go and wait for the next victim. I am also a staunch supporter of swearing. If I didn't swear, you would know that I was dead. So, take a stroll down memory lane on this blog and follow my thoughts and adventures.

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