It’s been a long 7 months. It’s been a rough 7 months. At times, I didn’t think that I could make it through without my best friend but, I did it. WE did it.
Most likely, this will be the last deployment that we have to endure. Hell, I think that the boys had a better go of this whole time than either of us did. Tears and screaming… swearing and giving up only to pick back up and move on. Care packages and love letters. A Hawaiian vacation and then back to reality.
Last night, I invited some friends over for a very last minute “Welcome Home” get together. Food and drinks, cards and conversation. Everyone had a blast with Cards Against Humanity and I don’t think that I have laughed that hard in a long time. Then, as Gina, Krystal and I were cleaning up the cards, I hear this voice and I just stopped.
For a brief moment, I had forgotten that he was home. It was quite unnerving and then, just the biggest smile spread across my face. This time, it was not a dream. He really is home.
Now, with all that mushy and beautiful shit written, let me acknowledge that when a couple has been apart for 7 months, shit is bound to have changed on both ends. Right now, we are in this place of “i love you…I love you, too…” honeymoon-esque sex all the time. There have been little um, disagreements but no actual arguments or fighting. I would like to say that this is the greatest thing in the history of EVER and, it is! It really is. But, being a military spouse and having gone through seven deployments with this man, I can tell you with 150% truthfulness that this is all a phase. lmao Give us a month and we will be fighting over laundry, kids, money and anything else that comes with saying those vows in front of that preacher. And, I am totally okay with that. Watson and I are a testament as to what COULD go wrong DOES but, we both believe that the “for better or for worse” words that we promised so many years ago still are a guiding force in this life together. We put our marriage FIRST. And, yes. That totally means before the kids. Kids need happy and healthy parents to be happy and healthy. This is a fact. And for fuck’s sake, I have put these kids through the wringer with some of my shit. But, when I am happy, I can work towards making our marriage happy and then, our family unit happy. It’s a long process but, worth it in the long run.
People often ask me how I “do it” being a military wife. That they could NEVER be away from their spouse/partner for a week. Let alone, almost an entire year. They talk about how they aren’t strong enough to do what myself and so many other spouses do. They want to know what I do to pass the time. Well, if you are reading this and you have ever wondered this; we do this life because we have to. It’s not anything that makes us anymore special than the spouse of a welder or a banker. It’s simply put, life. This is the hand that life has dealt us. This life isn’t one that anyone sets out to live. But, military spouses are not any ‘stronger’ than any other spouse out there. It’s LIFE. It is what it is and although yes, we CHOSE to be with our partners, not all of us CHOSE this life.
I CHOSE to marry my husband. The military was just something that came along with the deal. I knew that if I wanted to be with Watson, his military service was a given. You deal with it, learn to go with the flow (which is hard for a control freak like me) and hope that moving is not in the cards every 3-4 years. lol
There are many benefits that go along with being a military dependent; everyone knows this. If you are a military spouse and you have negative shit to say about the little luxuries that the military affords you, get the fuck out. You truly have it made. But, I want it said and hopefully understood that no amount of those ‘luxuries’ are worth being away from the best friend that I could ever have. Not to mention the effect that it has on our children. Each month while Watson is deployed, there is something called, “Family Separation Pay” (there is probably some other name for it by Navy standards but, let’s just call it what it is). This family sep pay is about $250 a month, I think? But, I am here to tell you that $250 is not nearly enough to have to try and explain to a nearing 4 year old why his Dad isn’t there at night to kiss him and it definitely does not dry the tears. Nor is it enough to cover the amount of “daddy-ing” that I have to do when he isn’t around. Especially when I have two puberty driven boys that need their dad.
Wow. This was not meant to be this long and drawn out. But, it is what it is. Deployments suck ass. Period. Along the way, you hear people tell you that, ‘it gets easier’. No. No the fuck it does not. You just learn to deal. You learn to multitask in a MAJOR way. You find out who your TRUE friends are. You get into a groove that works and then, BOOM! It’s over and done with and there is a whole new set of rules to start learning since everyone has changed so drastically.
Welcome home, Watson. I waited for you and I will always wait for you. Until the end of our time on this planet. I love you to Uranus and back…