I have no heading for this blog…

My husband is a FY-2016, CPO Selectee.  I am very happy for and proud of him.

That sounds pretty “blah”, huh?  Please don’t underestimate my happiness for my best friend and the love of my life during this momentous time in his Naval career.  He has been wanting this and so deserving of this for so long and it finally happened.  In fact, many have said that this should have happened a few years back.  I would have to agree.  And, if I am being honest, being selected in the past cycles probably would have made some facets of our lives much, much easier. With that same breath of honesty, I want to say how selfishly glad that I am to not have to try and pick up the pieces of not seeing his name on that list this year.

What I am now waiting for is that point where our lives are supposed to be so drastically changed because of this promotion. At some point, shouldn’t I start to feel some special sense of entitlement or some weird sense of ‘belonging’ to this, dare I say, ELITE club of spouses?  Because, I don’t.

Sure.  There is this entirely world of new commitments, new acquaintances, new Naval ‘slang’ and well, life.  In fact, as I sit here typing this, there is a pamphlet sitting in my bag on the “guidelines” of being a CPO spouse.  Hang on, I need to compose and try to contain my amusement….

Okay.  I’m good.  I’m not really a “guidelines” kind of girl, if you know what I mean.  haha

There are social media pages for us.  There are social media pages aimed at us.  There are some that are cruel beyond belief while others are meant to be supportive and empathetic. I am just so confused.

I had to step away from this blog for a few hours because I needed to know if this was one of the situations that I should really consider the words that I put on here or, should I go balls deep and write how I really feel about this whole process of being a Selectee’s spouse.  Pretty sure that if you know me, you are asking yourself, “Ah, shit… how deep exactly are you going this time, Mel?”

I am not, nor have I ever been one to hold my tongue on things that I feel strongly about.  My opinions are my own.  I try to be as respectful as I can muster with other people.  Although, there comes times when honesty is the best course of action.  In other words… if the words you want to say don’t kill, maim or gravely injure another living thing, honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

So, here we go.  This whole Selectee spouse thing.  It’s really nothing special.  There you have it.  There is my major, balls deep observation and opinion.  The hardest part that I am having with the whole situation is that there is no real hard part.  (Other than on my wallet but, that is an entirely different animal.)  I am not a “newbie” to the induction season.  I have been around the block with friends and those few formerly known as friends as their spouses put on their anchors. (Naval lingo, go google it)  I wanted the ridiculous projects and the late nights working on bullshit, commiserating and bonding with other wives that were going through it also. Well, as far as that shit goes, he got the bullshit all night stuff and all that I got was the norm… taking care of the kids, the animals and the house.  I did, however manage to get myself fired from my job.  First time in my life but, that really has nothing to do with the purpose of this little blog.

Funny enough, I think that this whole CPO thing happening when it did was right on target with our lives and where they are at this point.   No shit… Within the first 72 hours of my husband checking out of his training command as an instructor and checking into his new command, he received the word that his name was ‘on the list’.   I will never, as long as I am able to recall anything that has happened in my life, forget the phone call from him on that morning.  I wanted to cry so badly with him, FOR him but, the tears just weren’t there.  Not even the happy ones.  But, I think that eventually the tears will come.

I am so over the top, ridiculously and momentously honored to be his wife, his best friend and the woman that he chose to make his family with.  I am even more honored to be along on this ride with him and to see what future achievements are coming for him.

I love you, Watson.  To Uranus and all the way back home again…

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