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It’s time. Again.

Today is Monday, June 8th.  Today is the first day of the last week that Watson will be at this training command as an instructor.  What does this mean to those not affiliated with the military?  What this means is that after that day on March 24, 2012 when I picked him up from the San Diego airport, this is the first time that we have had to think about him going back to sea duty.  Now, the time is here.

One of my friends said it best about spending time away from her husband, “I need to miss him”.  I’ve always agreed with that sentiment.  I still agree with it.  But, when it becomes REAL and forced upon you… well, then it just. Plain. Sucks.

The last time that Watson was on sea duty, he was stationed on the USS Carl Vinson.  Again, if you aren’t military… it’s the big, big boat that buried Osama Bin Laden at sea.  lol

The last time that Watson was on sea duty, on the first deployment with the Vinson, I had a trip to meet the ship in Hawaii, sans kids, at the tail end of the deployment.  On the second deployment aboard the Vinson, although the time apart was shorter, it was harder.  But, I also had the possibility of trying for a third baby to look forward to.  (btw, we got that third baby December 2012.)

This sea duty.  This next three, possibly four years of possible deployments, late nights, weeks gone and weeks home, work ups and training, for the first time… I have nothing to look forward to.  Well, there is the fact that this will be the last sea duty of his Naval career.  There will be things with the boys that I can look forward to but, selfishly like every other military spouse, I just want him to be home.  I want him to be here to see accomplishments and failures.  To help with the daily life of the family that we have made together.  I don’t want to relearn how to change a flat tire.  I don’t want to have to call my friends to save my ass when I forget to put gas in the car.  (Hey, that is when you KNOW shit got real…)

I don’t want to take all the boys to Target.  I don’t want to be the “mean mom” that I HAVE to be when he’s gone.  I don’t want to have to give up my ME time for the Navy.  I’m frustrated, irritated and angry already.  And, I don’t even know when or if he will even deploy!

I’m not a total pessimist.  I see the bright side to deployments.  Time to miss him.  Time to become FRIENDS again.  Time to get to know my kids and be their everything again.  Time to save money.  Time to pay off bills.  Time to spoil the boys because you truly don’t realize how nice family separation, hazardous duty pay and tax free paychecks are.  Hey, judge me all you want.  You other military wives KNOW that I speak the truth.  lmao

I miss him already.  There is going to come the first night that he won’t be home the next day.  Or the day after that, the week after that.  Those weeks eventually drag on into months and things get easier.  Missing him never gets easier.  The trying to explain to the kids why he can’t be here never gets easier.  But with each day that passes, the closer we come to being together again.

And that, my friends… is my whiney, “poor, woe is me” military wife blog.  I hope that you enjoyed my complaining.  And, if you can relate to anything in here, share with another military spouse.  Let them know that it’s completely normal.  Everything that they may be feeling is justified and has reason to be said out loud.

Much love, until next time…

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About melodyswatson

Thanks for giving this blog a chance. Well, it would have been cool if you would have tried it when I started it like, FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO! But, water under the bridge and lets go from here… ;) I am a soon to be, 40 year old mother of three boys, proud wife to one sexy ass Navy Chief, fur-mom to two dogs, five cats, two rats and a black corn snake. I thrive on chaos and therefore I also bottle feed and foster underage kittens for my girlfriend's rescue. I am THE Crazy Cat Lady. I live in Southern California (yes, you can be jealous now) and own my home so… I won't ever be leaving! I am not close to my family mainly because… well, I don't really relate to them. But, I love the fuck out of my friends and will do anything for them. I hope that you will follow this blog. Mainly because it would nice to hear your own experiences or times you relate to something you read on here. But, also be aware that I am NOT an everyday, on schedule blogger. I blog when I have something to share. Always remember that forced words on paper are just as fake as that 'comeback' you have towards someone ten minutes too late. Let it go and wait for the next victim. I am also a staunch supporter of swearing. If I didn't swear, you would know that I was dead. So, take a stroll down memory lane on this blog and follow my thoughts and adventures.

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