Let’s see how many people I can offend with this blog in 3…2…1

So, I’m not really going set out and actually TRY to offend everyone.  Why?  Unlike some people, I don’t set out to intentionally say things that would attack someone’s feelings, beliefs, concerns or otherwise.  I don’t intentionally post things on social media to get people riled up.  I embrace who I am and I stand by words that I say.  I don’t always say the right words to convey what I am feeling and I completely lack that filter that allows me to think before I speak.  But, what you get will be the truth.  Some call it, “brutal honesty”.  I call it, “I respect you enough to be myself around you and not sugar coat things”.

So, I have some things that I want to get off my chest and if they offend you, well…

1.  Breastfeeding in public.   If you don’t care about the maternal and legal rights of a mother to feed her child, then let’s think on this another way:  Would you rather that hungry baby be screaming uncontrollably just to appease your sensitive eyesight? My kids’ first exposure to breast feeding was my friend, Rebecca and her son in Japan.  It didn’t “warp” them.  It didn’t taint their childlike innocence.  You know what they do or say when they see a mother breastfeeding her baby now?  NOTHING.  Which is exactly what everyone else should be doing.  Mind your own business.  Done.

2.  The Confederate flag.  For fuck’s sake.  STOP.  It is a F-L-A-G.  It is not a symbol of hate.  It’s not a display of hate.  What it is, is the ignorance of SOME people that hide behind the [history] of the Confederate flag and some weird, sense of entitlement of times long, LONG past.  I am from Mississippi.  My grandfather was in the KKK.  I don’t say that with pride.  I say that because I can assure everyone that the Confederate flag played no role in his hate and ignorance.  Done.

3.  “Sunday Christians”.  This shit is older than I am.  It’s a disgusting display of the worst kind of hypocrisy.  Please don’t think that I fail to notice when social media is the first place that you run to post about your beliefs, your urgency to receive the [Lord] into your life and your Sunday worship service but, not another word of your [faith] at any other time during the week.  I respect everyone’s beliefs.  I love my friends and how they feel comfortable enough to say, “I’ll pray for you” even though they know that I don’t believe in [God] or organized religion.  Done.

4.  How you raise your children.  This is a very simple one.  As long as you aren’t keeping them in a dog crate in the basement, slapping them around and mentally fucking them for the rest of their lives… #notmykid #notmyproblem.  Done.

5.  Immunizations.  Oh. My. Gosh.  Stand down you crazy fuckers.  On BOTH sides of the vaccine debate.  I vaccinate my kids.  Why?  Because it is what is recommended by my trusted pediatrician.  It doesn’t mean that I am ignorant to the risks of any foreign substance that is injected into my child.  It simply means that I have made the best choice for MY children.  As I am sure that the non-vaccine crowd has done also.  Done.

6.  Abortion.  Ah, yes.  The debate of the century.  I honestly don’t even know where to start on this one.  Actually, it’s pretty simple.  MY body, MY life, MY choice.  YOUR body, YOUR life, YOUR choice.  People are so quick to jump on the Pro-Life movement but, many fail to consider all the circumstances where abortion is sought out in the first place.  Done.

7.  Women’s rights, women’s equality vs.  The Man.  I still believe in traditional male and female roles in the home.  I like having my husband take the trash out.  I like the fact that he “brings home the bacon” so that I was afforded the luxury of staying home with my son for the first two years of his life.  I don’t support the oppression of women.  I want women to feel empowered and stand up for their fair treatment in the workplace and society.  But, I enjoy my husband being “the man” in our family.

There.  I could go on but, I have kids to lock in dog crates and flags to raise.  😉

Advertisements

I can’t believe that I am blogging. Twice. In a week. WTF?

Ah, yes.  Now I remember why this is my second blog entry in a week.  Absolute and utter exhaustion.  Well, close to it at least.

I have been awake since 5:05 am.  (I almost wrote, “this morning” but, the “am” probably gives that away…sigh)  Not to mention that this is the first day trying to get back on track with this weight loss thing.  (I have gained 8 pounds since May 22nd.  NOT okay.)

Before I could even leave for work this morning, I see my middle kid limping.  Now, I have to say that I have an extreme issue with kids and the playing up any illness or injury.  And trust, this is usually the case around this house.  But, for once, not this morning.  I guess that I should back up a bit and offer the prelude of this situation that the two older boys went camping for the first time this weekend.  And now, back to my tale…

The middle kid is limping.  I sit on the stairs and grab his foot.  There is a fucking HOLE in his foot and his toes are swollen in this really creepy way that makes them look completely deformed.  In case you missed this, A FUCKING HOLE. IN HIS FOOT.  IN THE TOP OF HIS FUCKING FOOT.  I’m going to save the gory details.  Just know that it was as disgusting as you are imagining right. This. Moment.

Fast forward to me having to get ready to leave for work.  I go to the fridge to try and find something to grab for my low-cal lunch and then I see it.  On the very bottom of the fridge, underneath the produce drawers, there is a puddle of funky water that makes me literally, sick to my stomach.  I start grabbing drawers out and piling them up so that the husband can start washing them and then, I see it.  Yes.  Another “it”.  How in the hell did I miss that much MOLD in the back of my fridge?  Fucking seriously?  Faster forward… thanks the other half of the matrimonial union, we now are in the possession of a fridge that is most likely more clean today than when we bought it.

Productive day at a job that I enjoy and then I get home.  The middle kid’s foot is no better.  You remember that one, right?  The one with the HOLE in his FOOT?  Yeah… I totally gave my kid the option of A.) Me taking my craft room, Exacto knife and lancing this bitch to get it to drain or, B.) going to the ER so that a professional can look at it and determine if an Exacto knife is even really necessary at this point.  (btw, I highly suggested the ER vs. mom with the look of MD hero status in her eyes)

Off to the ER.  Fun times.  Bacterial infection that was the beginning to abscess.  Two antibiotic shots, antibiotic cream, two antibiotic scripts and we were on our way.  Oh.  And crutches.  I definitely can’t forget those fucking crutches that he won’t allow to leave his side.  Honestly?  I think that in between being allowed to be wheeled around in the wheelchair, the hot PA and the crutches…this may have been the highlight of his short 9 years.

I am utterly exhausted.  I am sitting here now, just finished the delicious Taco Tuesday meal that the husband made and counting down the minutes until I can shower and crawl into my freshly sheeted bed.

Then there is that.  I have to make my bed.  Let’s do this.

It’s time. Again.

Today is Monday, June 8th.  Today is the first day of the last week that Watson will be at this training command as an instructor.  What does this mean to those not affiliated with the military?  What this means is that after that day on March 24, 2012 when I picked him up from the San Diego airport, this is the first time that we have had to think about him going back to sea duty.  Now, the time is here.

One of my friends said it best about spending time away from her husband, “I need to miss him”.  I’ve always agreed with that sentiment.  I still agree with it.  But, when it becomes REAL and forced upon you… well, then it just. Plain. Sucks.

The last time that Watson was on sea duty, he was stationed on the USS Carl Vinson.  Again, if you aren’t military… it’s the big, big boat that buried Osama Bin Laden at sea.  lol

The last time that Watson was on sea duty, on the first deployment with the Vinson, I had a trip to meet the ship in Hawaii, sans kids, at the tail end of the deployment.  On the second deployment aboard the Vinson, although the time apart was shorter, it was harder.  But, I also had the possibility of trying for a third baby to look forward to.  (btw, we got that third baby December 2012.)

This sea duty.  This next three, possibly four years of possible deployments, late nights, weeks gone and weeks home, work ups and training, for the first time… I have nothing to look forward to.  Well, there is the fact that this will be the last sea duty of his Naval career.  There will be things with the boys that I can look forward to but, selfishly like every other military spouse, I just want him to be home.  I want him to be here to see accomplishments and failures.  To help with the daily life of the family that we have made together.  I don’t want to relearn how to change a flat tire.  I don’t want to have to call my friends to save my ass when I forget to put gas in the car.  (Hey, that is when you KNOW shit got real…)

I don’t want to take all the boys to Target.  I don’t want to be the “mean mom” that I HAVE to be when he’s gone.  I don’t want to have to give up my ME time for the Navy.  I’m frustrated, irritated and angry already.  And, I don’t even know when or if he will even deploy!

I’m not a total pessimist.  I see the bright side to deployments.  Time to miss him.  Time to become FRIENDS again.  Time to get to know my kids and be their everything again.  Time to save money.  Time to pay off bills.  Time to spoil the boys because you truly don’t realize how nice family separation, hazardous duty pay and tax free paychecks are.  Hey, judge me all you want.  You other military wives KNOW that I speak the truth.  lmao

I miss him already.  There is going to come the first night that he won’t be home the next day.  Or the day after that, the week after that.  Those weeks eventually drag on into months and things get easier.  Missing him never gets easier.  The trying to explain to the kids why he can’t be here never gets easier.  But with each day that passes, the closer we come to being together again.

And that, my friends… is my whiney, “poor, woe is me” military wife blog.  I hope that you enjoyed my complaining.  And, if you can relate to anything in here, share with another military spouse.  Let them know that it’s completely normal.  Everything that they may be feeling is justified and has reason to be said out loud.

Much love, until next time…