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Just breathe, Melody. Just. Breathe.

That moment at 1-ish in the morning, you can’t sleep and are folding and hanging the mounds of Jasper laundry that have been sitting there for weeks it seems.
That moment at 1-ish in the morning, you’re in mid fold when you notice that this pair of pajamas has gotten too small and you have been meaning to donate them. You throw them into the donate box that you have been working on.
That moment at 1-ish in the morning, the next thing you pick up is his favorite blanket; his “Wubbie”. A blanket that is so soft that even the six month old little man in the Target cart wouldn’t let it go. You don’t have the $17 for a baby blanket but, he’s rubbing it on his face and smiling. You put back the pack of new razor cartridges from the cart and it’s his.
That moment at 1-ish in the morning, you grab a hanger and a tshirt. This shirt is a 2T. You tell yourself to breathe. You exhale slowly and put the shirt on the hanger.
That moment at 1-ish in the morning, when you realize that the newborn, 3 mo, 6-9mo, 12 mo clothes that he wore for so long actually didn’t fit for that long at all. It was so easy to part with those items. But, now?
That moment at 1-ish in the morning, you look around at the clothes that say, “2t”, “3t” and it hits you. He’ll never be in a size that ends in “months” again. And those final pieces of 18 and 24 month clothes are wound around your hands and you find yourself bringing them to your face just to remember what the smell is like.
That moment, that you drop to the ground and cry. That eight pound, almost Christmas baby boy will never remember these clothes. But, you will.
And at that very moment, at 1:37am, those 8 feet to his room and the mere seconds it would take to get to him and to grab him and hold onto him for dear life seems like 8 miles and you can’t breathe.
And that moment, you just crawl into bed.  You catch yourself saying out loud, “Just breathe, Melody.  Just.  Breathe.”Image

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About melodyswatson

Thanks for giving this blog a chance. Well, it would have been cool if you would have tried it when I started it like, FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO! But, water under the bridge and lets go from here… ;) I am a soon to be, 40 year old mother of three boys, proud wife to one sexy ass Navy Chief, fur-mom to two dogs, five cats, two rats and a black corn snake. I thrive on chaos and therefore I also bottle feed and foster underage kittens for my girlfriend's rescue. I am THE Crazy Cat Lady. I live in Southern California (yes, you can be jealous now) and own my home so… I won't ever be leaving! I am not close to my family mainly because… well, I don't really relate to them. But, I love the fuck out of my friends and will do anything for them. I hope that you will follow this blog. Mainly because it would nice to hear your own experiences or times you relate to something you read on here. But, also be aware that I am NOT an everyday, on schedule blogger. I blog when I have something to share. Always remember that forced words on paper are just as fake as that 'comeback' you have towards someone ten minutes too late. Let it go and wait for the next victim. I am also a staunch supporter of swearing. If I didn't swear, you would know that I was dead. So, take a stroll down memory lane on this blog and follow my thoughts and adventures.

One response to “Just breathe, Melody. Just. Breathe.

  1. Brandee ⋅

    awe, your last baby is leaving babyhood 😦 Jack is leaving toddlerhood, almost outgrowing all of his 5T’s and going over to the “big boy” section. how does it happen so fast?!

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