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The Great Fig Debate of 2013

Wednesday is trash day in our neighborhood.  This morning, after 8 years of being Evans’ mother, he decides to pose the, “Do you know why I am scared of the trash trucks?” question to me as I am backing out of the driveway.

“Evans, you are NOT afraid of trash trucks.  You have never been afraid of the trash trucks.  But, why don’t you go ahead and tell me what brought on this sudden fear of them, eh?”  At this point, I have put the truck back into the ‘PARK’ position as I know that this is going to warrant a level of patience that I don’t have to give while driving.

“It’s the spikes that are on the tires.”

“The spikes.  On. The. Tires.  Like, the TREAD? Like that is on my PRIUS?”

And, this is where Morgan pipes up and things get really interesting.

“Yeah, those and the claw things that pick up the cans that can pick us up and then we would have to go live in the trash dump.  And then, we would have to try and survive on what we could find in the trash that other people put in their trash.”

Evans: “Yeah. And, we would have to survive on things like, dead rats.  And, maggots.  And, and, GRUBS.”

Morgan: “Oh, what are grubs? But, maybe I could find my fig bar.  But, not the red one, the blue one is blueberry but the purple one has more figs in it.”

Evans:  “You wouldn’t be able to find your fig bar, Morgan.  That’s stupid.  Fig bars aren’t in the dump.  Those aren’t the kind of snack, it’s too small.  That is what people eat and then throw the wrapper away.”

Morgan:   “Well, what if they were some purple fig bars that went bad?” 

Evans:  “You couldn’t eat those if they went bad, duh…”

Morgan:  “But, ….”


Never fucking mind that they were discussing ways to survive in a trash dump.  I dropped them off and came home.  


About melodyswatson

Thanks for giving this blog a chance. Well, it would have been cool if you would have tried it when I started it like, FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO! But, water under the bridge and lets go from here… ;) I am a soon to be, 40 year old mother of three boys, proud wife to one sexy ass Navy Chief, fur-mom to two dogs, five cats, two rats and a black corn snake. I thrive on chaos and therefore I also bottle feed and foster underage kittens for my girlfriend's rescue. I am THE Crazy Cat Lady. I live in Southern California (yes, you can be jealous now) and own my home so… I won't ever be leaving! I am not close to my family mainly because… well, I don't really relate to them. But, I love the fuck out of my friends and will do anything for them. I hope that you will follow this blog. Mainly because it would nice to hear your own experiences or times you relate to something you read on here. But, also be aware that I am NOT an everyday, on schedule blogger. I blog when I have something to share. Always remember that forced words on paper are just as fake as that 'comeback' you have towards someone ten minutes too late. Let it go and wait for the next victim. I am also a staunch supporter of swearing. If I didn't swear, you would know that I was dead. So, take a stroll down memory lane on this blog and follow my thoughts and adventures.

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