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That is NOT the car!

The phone that I bought my boys to share has been nothing but a thorn in my ass from day one.  This morning, it was more of an amusement.  That was, until it nearly took a quick trip from my eight year old’s hands into oncoming traffic.

I reminded him for the first time this morning for the school year to put his phone in his backpack.  Of course, this would be the morning that there would a damn Amber Alert that big brother would send to HIS phone.  Not to my phone but, to HIS.  Now, because of his tech savvy schooling and his every expanding knowledge of everything that could be construed as possible child abuse worthy leverage, he does in fact, know what an ‘Amber Alert’ is.  

Evans:  “Mom, there is an A.A.. It’s a blue, Nissan Versa.  Four Doors.  License plate #######.  We have to be on the lookout.”

Okay.  I will keep my eye out today.

E:  “Morgan, you have to be looking for a BLUE, NISSAN VERSA. FOUR DOORS.  LICENSE PLATE #######.”

Morgan:  “Okay, Evans. “

I’m sure you guys will find it.  Today.  In school.

Evans:  “It says that we have to call the local authorities or 911”

I’ll get on that if I see it.

(Please keep in mind that this entire conversation is transpiring in the 1 mile from our driveway to the car line at their school)

I’m giggling at their bantering (yes, I used the word ‘bantering’) back and forth when I Evans starts getting really loud and pointing at the PURPLE Nissan that is about two cars in front of us turning into the front of the school.  

Evans:  “THERE IT IS!  THAT’S IT!”

No, it’s not.  That’s a mom dropping a kid off.  Stop Evans.  It’s rude to point.


Morgan:  “Yeah, I think that’s them.  Do it, Evans.”


With that, and with Superman stealth, I grab that fucking phone and sure enough, he has the keypad open and is about to start dialing 911.  

OMFG.  REALLY?!  Welcome to my fucking world.  I threw them out of the truck and as he was walking off, he stopped to tell the crossing guard, POINTING AT THAT FUCKING CAR, about the Amber Alert and that she should call the police.    


About melodyswatson

Thanks for giving this blog a chance. Well, it would have been cool if you would have tried it when I started it like, FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO! But, water under the bridge and lets go from here… ;) I am a soon to be, 40 year old mother of three boys, proud wife to one sexy ass Navy Chief, fur-mom to two dogs, five cats, two rats and a black corn snake. I thrive on chaos and therefore I also bottle feed and foster underage kittens for my girlfriend's rescue. I am THE Crazy Cat Lady. I live in Southern California (yes, you can be jealous now) and own my home so… I won't ever be leaving! I am not close to my family mainly because… well, I don't really relate to them. But, I love the fuck out of my friends and will do anything for them. I hope that you will follow this blog. Mainly because it would nice to hear your own experiences or times you relate to something you read on here. But, also be aware that I am NOT an everyday, on schedule blogger. I blog when I have something to share. Always remember that forced words on paper are just as fake as that 'comeback' you have towards someone ten minutes too late. Let it go and wait for the next victim. I am also a staunch supporter of swearing. If I didn't swear, you would know that I was dead. So, take a stroll down memory lane on this blog and follow my thoughts and adventures.

3 responses to “That is NOT the car!

  1. coolpapae ⋅

    This is the best one EVER!

    • Hmph… You wouldn’t have thought so if it had been one of your girls! But, looking back, it was rather comical…

      • coolpapae ⋅

        I don’t see that there could have been a more perfect combination of their thought processes and your guessing correctly and preventing (or trying to prevent) your sons’ thought processes. Evans is too smart.

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