The phone that I bought my boys to share has been nothing but a thorn in my ass from day one. This morning, it was more of an amusement. That was, until it nearly took a quick trip from my eight year old’s hands into oncoming traffic.
I reminded him for the first time this morning for the school year to put his phone in his backpack. Of course, this would be the morning that there would a damn Amber Alert that big brother would send to HIS phone. Not to my phone but, to HIS. Now, because of his tech savvy schooling and his every expanding knowledge of everything that could be construed as possible child abuse worthy leverage, he does in fact, know what an ‘Amber Alert’ is.
Evans: “Mom, there is an A.A.. It’s a blue, Nissan Versa. Four Doors. License plate #######. We have to be on the lookout.”
Okay. I will keep my eye out today.
E: “Morgan, you have to be looking for a BLUE, NISSAN VERSA. FOUR DOORS. LICENSE PLATE #######.”
Morgan: “Okay, Evans. “
I’m sure you guys will find it. Today. In school.
Evans: “It says that we have to call the local authorities or 911”
I’ll get on that if I see it.
(Please keep in mind that this entire conversation is transpiring in the 1 mile from our driveway to the car line at their school)
I’m giggling at their bantering (yes, I used the word ‘bantering’) back and forth when I Evans starts getting really loud and pointing at the PURPLE Nissan that is about two cars in front of us turning into the front of the school.
Evans: “THERE IT IS! THAT’S IT!”
No, it’s not. That’s a mom dropping a kid off. Stop Evans. It’s rude to point.
E: “THAT. IS. THEM!” I’VE GOTTA CALL THIS IN!”
Morgan: “Yeah, I think that’s them. Do it, Evans.”
With that, and with Superman stealth, I grab that fucking phone and sure enough, he has the keypad open and is about to start dialing 911.
OMFG. REALLY?! Welcome to my fucking world. I threw them out of the truck and as he was walking off, he stopped to tell the crossing guard, POINTING AT THAT FUCKING CAR, about the Amber Alert and that she should call the police.