This last week started what was my first week back to work after having Jasper in December and also started the last of two weeks at a job that I adore. That’s it. I’m going to be a SAHM. For those that aren’t familiar with this particular acronym, “Stay At Home Mom”. It’s a thankless job but, someone has to do it. That’s not the point of this musing though.
I have caught shit from the other half of the matrimonial union since the day that Jasper was brought into this world via c-section. I hold him too much. I don’t let him cry. He sleeps in our bed. He has more clothes than the rest of the family combined. Yada, yada, yada. Apparently, in Jasper’s short, almost four months on this planet, I have ruined him to a point that there is no way anyone will want him as an adult.
In order for me to go back to work and finish out my last two weeks, the other half of the matrimonial took his “baby leave” and is doing the SAHD thing. This means, not only is he responsible for un-doing the damage that I have caused to this small child but, to also be responsible for getting his older brothers ready, fed and off to school. I have to say, he’s been doing somewhat of an “okay” job. Until this morning. When it was MY turn to stir his shit in the Jasper department. As he was sitting here, drinking his coffee, Jasper on his play mat and I on my laptop, there began some fussing from the kid’s general direction. Before I knew what was happening, the following conversation ensues…
Me: Okay, Jas. I’m coming.
Watson: No, I got him. We’re going to rock.
Me: And you talk about me spoiling him. You’re going to ROCK him to sleep?
Watson: Well, it’s his nap time. It’s our routine.
Me: Your “routine”? You mean the routine that is going to fuck us up when I begin staying at home again? I told you that I don’t hold him all day and I don’t hold him to put him to sleep.
Watson: Well, it’s what he wants.
Me: “WHAT HE WANTS?” Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t want to hear another word about me spoiling him and working on his schedule.
Watson: You started it.
Me: Whatever, man. You’re a pussy. (laughing)
Watson: No I’m not. Fuck you!
And this is how we make the parenting thing look easy.