Things are going rather well here this morning. Watson goes to work, boys are up and fed. One is dressed and the other well, he’s just lazy. I’m sitting on the computer, having my coffee and just generally fucking around, doing nothing. Until I hear this wee little voice coming from the dining room. “Oh SHIT!”
Now, this wasn’t a little slip of the tongue. THis was a full-fledged, I just fucked up, “Oh SHIT!” Needless to say, but I will, I started laughing immediately. While profanity is certainly not acceptable from children in this house, I believe that there are far worse things that they could be doing. So, proceeding to do what I thought the “good parental unit” would do, I called Mr. Pottymouth back into my office for a meeting of the minds.
He walks back, no doubt trying out scenarios to excuse his momentary lapse of lingual control. Here I sit, still laughing and I ask him, “Can you tell me again what I heard so I’m not mistaken?” This kid starts sobbing uncontrollably! Accompanied by tremors and rolling tears! I’m still laughing, although now, not at the fact he used the word so precisely and LOUDLY. Now, I’m laughing at the fact that my child is so terrified of actually SAYING a word in front of me that I fear he may pass out. Fast forward….. I threaten the use of soap next time I hear him say a bad word. Over and done with. Or so one would think…..
He leaves and his brother asks, ” WHAT DID SHE DO?!” (you have to imagine the enthusiasm)
To which the little asshole replies, “Not shit.”
(Originally posted on August 10, 2011)